An hour or 2 at the Library.....

...got my library pass and now I am in a reading frenzy. The librarian took me to the designated spot in the huge building to where only about 12 books sat. Then she showed me another spot in the "medical" section where I found another 5-8 books. The first one I pulled down started with my humor: Alzheimer's for Dummies. I laughed and started flipping thru the pages. I found it very interesting yet thought I needed something more on the premise of Alzheimer's background and function first. Start with the basics of this disease.

My mother, age 79, was just diagnosed w/this disease in June and I am already noticing her mind getting worse. Not real bad but a gradual notice of irritation, distress and lack of clarity. Her minds changes so fast these days. It's almost like Dorothy said in The Wizard of OZ , "My everyone comes and goes so quickly around here." Or maybe this one, "We're not in Kansas any more Toto." My momma is not like this every day, but I have noticed her swaying to "Oz" from time to time.

So I caught a note in one book from Patti Davis, President Reagan's daughter...and knew I had to have something light to read about this journey my mom will be taking. Then one book hit me between the eyes. So much so that as I skimmed it's content, my eyes became foggy with misty tears. The pages were blurry, yet a tear did not drop. It was revealed to me standing in the isle by myself that this is where we will one day be. No longer able to just sit and joke or talk about the news , grand kids or the great grand kids she has. No longer to see her be so independent and strong willed. Right now she is NOT THERE. But as I said before she is going to get there one day.

I pray that day does not come for a few more years. I pray that God gives her time to adjust but as I skimmed the pages of the books, I noticed one common area... It does happen, and it happens when you least expect it.

I want to educate myself on this regeneration or what the author calls "re-birthing" b/c I want to be the best advocate for her as the years tumble by. God has been dealing with me on the issue of being still. Learning to take Proverb 17 to the next level. Understanding that peace comes sometimes from saying nothing. I have had times to exercise these truths this spring/summer, but today I realized that God is also preparing me for what is to come w/my mother. So I will continue to listen to God through reading His word and praying. I will continue to read everything I can concerning Alzheimer's. And I will continue loving on my mom even when it gets hard. Trusting that God, who made her and loves her will provide for her every step of the way. Praying that mom will see the best place for her is to live w/me.