DO I? do things out of a sense of duty as a believer.
DO I? have my own agenda
DO I? feel I have grown enough spiritually to make the right
decision every time.
DO I? think of myself as superior
DO I? think with robot precision on godly things
DO I? quickly pray w/o a burden like items on a grocery list
Jesus knew that a time would come when his disciples would leave Him alone and He knew that we would as well. YES~ I have done all of the above at one time or another in my journey as a believer (I cannot lie)
I HAVE~ served b/c I am a pastor's wife and it is what is expected, my duty.
I HAVE!~had my own hidden agenda before. If I do something will there be some kind of recognition in it for me.
I HAVE~felt that in some areas the old quote "I arrived" so I didn't need to attend "that" Bible study, boy was I ever wrong.
I HAVE~never felt superior....really!~ But the word inferior has claimed my thoughts and actions many times. They are both wrong. Both make you believe that the job or service or ministry cannot be done by you. Maybe you are the very person God has in mind for the deed or idea to get accomplished.
I HAVE~been robotic in many decisions. I am speaking of the small ones here, b/c "I can handle these and leave God to other bigger issues." Yet I know God wants to be a part of my daily mundane life.
I HAVE~quickly prayed w/o compassion or urgency or burden before, only to find God convicting me later. ( I have to be honest here)
Jesus knew I would try this on my own. But he stands ready and willing and lovingly to forgive my unbelief and show me how to live this life in full belief. Every one of the 'I HAVES" I have done...learned my lesson ....moved on. But sometimes I fall back into old bad habits. Oswald Chambers has a quote "We have put our sense of duty on the throne instead of the resurrected life of Christ."
My words: when I do "believer things" w/the attitude of duty then it is always backed w/a clear defense. When I do "believer things" w/the attitude of obedience then there is no defense. It is all about faith in the cross, the power of the cross.
In this present week (2-28-2011) I need to claim the power of the cross. Not for just belief (b/c I do believe) but to trust God's perfect will in the decisions that must be made....w/my mom's health...Steve's book....our home in Tennessee....Billie's job....Jill and Warren and a baby.
"HELP MY UNBELIEF" Mark 9:24