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Tuesday, September 28, 2010
Monday, September 27, 2010
Do I steer clear of pride issues or do I relish in them? The honest answer is no & yes! At least in my life. I struggle with pride from time to time. Picturing times where I was completely in charge of a successful volunteer service at my daughters schools or my 50 hr a week (times 6 wks job) of set preps for VBS. Sometimes it has been a duet or trio song of praise in worship or a project completion at work.
I am proud of my marriage to my husband of 33 yrs, 2 gorgeous daughters, 2 awesome godly sons and those 4 precious grands! I am proud of the churches we have served in b/c their ministries truly shown light in the community. I am very proud of my Ohio State Buckeyes, although I know they are just a football team that don't know me from Adam. I am proud of our home. Very proud that my husband is a published author. I could go on and on but I will stop here.
I think this verse hit me today, b/c I had never thought much about Jesus watching satan fall to earth. It reminded me that Jesus always has been. What a safe thought. But when He started talking to the 70 men He had sent out to teach and bring in the harvest...He caught my attention also.
They were bragging about the demons who submitted to them in Jesus name. And Jesus (I am guessing) in a still voice told them to stop being so proud. He gave attention to the fact that He had given them every ability to handle anything that came near them. Nothing was going to harm them. They were bound to succeed b/c He gave them the directive. He caught them in their pride. I can see them standing around Jesus and bragging on all they had done, as buttons popped off their shirts or maybe as the knots in their robe ties came undone.
I've been there and so have you. It's a dangerous spot to be in. Usually I can say "oh no" before I am waist deep in my sinkin-stinkin pride. Knowing that PRIDE REALLY DOES COME BEFORE THE FALL. I know my sin and admit my failure..asking for forgiveness and desiring to NOT do that again.
Pride brings anger and selfishness and that only leads me to a life of unfilled desires and self-centered-ness.
Living this Christ-life for over 33 yrs I have learned the hard way many times...how best to deal w/pride. What makes me happy about these 2 verses is the fact that Christ does have my name written in the Lambs Book of Life and b/c He does I have the power to deal w/pride.
I am still proud of my family, home, church, and how God gives me strength to get through all the volunteer hours but that is BECAUSE my perspective has changed over the years.
It is not b/c of me that all these things are accomplished...it's b/c of Christ Himself. That He allowed me to partake of each event, service and joy is the blessing of living this life.
For that I am very PROUD!
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
Oswald Chambers goes on to say that "the Lord never MAKES me do what He wants." But I have to admit, just like Paul, (the things I want to do I don't, and the things I don't want to do, I do) I wish sometimes He would! I told a friend the other day that I so wish sometimes I would see that proverbial handwriting on the wall...so I don't miss what God wants of me. Life when difficult, would be made so much easier if we could just have enough faith to say....Which way God? Then bingo, He would write the directions on the wall before our eyes. Is He capable, yes? Then why doesn't He? As for me, I know if I saw the written directions on the wall, I would take it for granted so much so that I would not act on my faith.
Steve was always good at helping our girls understand algebra. I mean he took major math classes in college not b/c they were prerequisites but b/c it was FUN! (AUGHH) So b/c they knew daddy loved math , they trusted he would guide them thru the formulas. What IF they just expected him to do their algebra for them every night? Their grades would be great, their piers would think they were geniuses, but where would they stand on exam day?
Same with me. My faith has to be exercised daily in order to know His will for my life. Life will give curves, slowing us down, challenging us and use us. I don't want to rely on a honest to goodness handwritten message. I want to have faith to trust NO MATTER WHAT COMES....I can handle it w/God.
Chambers suggest that God wants us in a relationship with Him were he is so easily our Master/ Teacher that we have "NO CONSCIOUS AWARENESS of it." Kinda like breathing. We breath O2 all day every day..for me that equals 20,699.5 days so far. and maybe I could count on on hand when I was even aware that I needed O2. (1 wk in hospital w/pneumonia and this past spring w/allergy attack)
What is God writing on your wall?
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
My mother, age 79, was just diagnosed w/this disease in June and I am already noticing her mind getting worse. Not real bad but a gradual notice of irritation, distress and lack of clarity. Her minds changes so fast these days. It's almost like Dorothy said in The Wizard of OZ , "My everyone comes and goes so quickly around here." Or maybe this one, "We're not in Kansas any more Toto." My momma is not like this every day, but I have noticed her swaying to "Oz" from time to time.
So I caught a note in one book from Patti Davis, President Reagan's daughter...and knew I had to have something light to read about this journey my mom will be taking. Then one book hit me between the eyes. So much so that as I skimmed it's content, my eyes became foggy with misty tears. The pages were blurry, yet a tear did not drop. It was revealed to me standing in the isle by myself that this is where we will one day be. No longer able to just sit and joke or talk about the news , grand kids or the great grand kids she has. No longer to see her be so independent and strong willed. Right now she is NOT THERE. But as I said before she is going to get there one day.
I pray that day does not come for a few more years. I pray that God gives her time to adjust but as I skimmed the pages of the books, I noticed one common area... It does happen, and it happens when you least expect it.
I want to educate myself on this regeneration or what the author calls "re-birthing" b/c I want to be the best advocate for her as the years tumble by. God has been dealing with me on the issue of being still. Learning to take Proverb 17 to the next level. Understanding that peace comes sometimes from saying nothing. I have had times to exercise these truths this spring/summer, but today I realized that God is also preparing me for what is to come w/my mother. So I will continue to listen to God through reading His word and praying. I will continue to read everything I can concerning Alzheimer's. And I will continue loving on my mom even when it gets hard. Trusting that God, who made her and loves her will provide for her every step of the way. Praying that mom will see the best place for her is to live w/me.
Saturday, September 11, 2010
Today, 34 years ago at 7 pm, this couple were making their engagement announcement to the world. It was also the day his father got remarried. We were only 19 n 22 years of age! Still quite wet behind the ears, hardly knew one another, yet our hearts could not stay apart. In this picture we are 53 n 56 years of age and not so wet behind the ears...with 2 grown married daughters and 4 grands! He is the best man for me, he says I am the best woman for him....we are faithful to one another and words like: committment, love, trust, joy, honesty, tough times, God, Jesus, praise be to God, honor, respect, may come out of our mouths at any time. See we are leaving our children and grandchildren a legacy. So that one day they will know that intergrity is not a 10 letter word to throw around freely. So that they may know we follow the God of Creation and try hard to listen to His will for our lives. So that they may know what real support, and honesty means to a relationship.
Two men came into my life and gave me self worth....Jesus and Steve, in that order. I love this man with every beat of my heart. Hugs an kisses darling!
About a year ago we were walking in Walmart. Steve got a text message from our daughter in Ga. Along with the picture on the far left. Thisi s our newest granddaughter. We stood in the parking lot and just kept touching the screen...our newest granddaughter. To us she was perfect (like all the other grands) The journey to Ellagrace was really starting to go forward now. I shared (w/tears) about our news to a mother in the store...she cried also.
What a difference a year makes...see photo to immediate left. She has been in the states for a little over 5 mos now and has acclimated beyond our imagination. God has comforted those unsure, non-trusting eyes. God has given her sisters who love her, parents who care for her, grandparents and auntie's /uncles , friends at church...and one day He will help her understand the free gift of salvation. I can not imagine how our lives would of been lived out if she was not a part of it. Praise be to God!
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
For just like w/Shana and Billie and their journey to Ellagrace, we now face another journey of FAITH that God will bring the exact child to Jill and Warren. We are a praying family and believe in a God who wants to give unexpected gifts of joy.
So we start praying and dreaming again of a child to love. A child to hold. A child to spoil. A child to bless. A child who will one day walk into a knowledge of that Amazing Grace that comes from the free gift of salvation.
One day soon, I will be screaming "I'm a grandmother again!"
Keeping our focus on the source of our hope!
Check out her blog at: http://www.warrenandjill.blogspot.com/
Saturday, September 4, 2010
Giving up doesnt always mean your weak, sometimes it just means your strong enough to let go
........................................................................Also Proverb 17:1- a dry morsal!
India, China, Russia, Africa, Middle Eastern families reuniting, some maybe for the first time in years! The word family, in any language means the same. My heart cried happiness for them all! If I could I would of hugged every person and welcomed them to their individual family units. But I would of been hauled off to security and made the national headlines..."Woman hugs people to death" (or something like that)
Many languages, many tears, many smiles, hugs and kisses were exchanged and I didn't need an interperter. It made the wait for our granddaughter that much more important. See, we were not only meeting our 4th granddaughter but sharing in other peoples lives for that brief moment in time. What a privilege!
I stood w/video in hand, ready to record every minute of our first meeting w/this little Ethiopian princess. As I stood waiting, I was thinking "How does this relate to God?" Well that should of been an easy one, but I had to dig deeper into what that experience said to me about my relationship w/God.
Remember when God gave the people different languages? That meant before that time, everyone understood each other. So they got a committee together, debated and voted on building the Tower of Babel. (not really, but if they were baptist, that could of been the scenario) When God saw what they were doing, badda-bing, He created languages!
So here I am at Dulles International Airport, listening to all sorts of languages, yet I understood everything they were saying! The heart never lies. To see tears told me they had missed their families. To watch young children run thru the crowd to get to a family member told me they were in for one huge happy reunion! To observe the TONS of luggage, told me they were staying for a while and there may be presents involved. I heard no complains of long flights or waiting to get thru security measures or how much plane fares were. NONE OF THAT MATTERED. FAMILY MATTERED.
My take on this observation became quite clear, God really doesn't care about ALL THIS STUFF we carry with us...i.e. our volunteer spirit, how many years we have taught Sunday school, or how many labels we can make for ourselves. He cares about the heart. How happy am I to meet with Him daily? Do I share my minute day to day life w/Him? Am I wanting this reunion to only last a week or do I plan on spending each day as if it was my last w/Him, the Creator? Do I complain of the little tidbit items every time I meet w/Him or do I forget about "me" and concentrate on "us?"
There are days in this life where I focus all my energy on the tidbits. My eyes are not centered on God and His grace for the day. Will I ever learn to STOP doing that? Probably not on earth. ...I'm human and I fall. I do hope I am attentive enough that God knows of my love for Him and my desire to walk w/Him daily. Remember God never leaves us but rather we leave Him. Yet I wain in my desire, (confession is good for the soul) and somehow I always come back! And the amazing part is: He takes me back!
So I am back, back from a hectic life of doctors, hospitals, nursing my mother back to health. I am back from VBS set prep, visits to our children's homes, recitals and remodeling a house. And I am back to journal in the blogworld. I am going to document w/pictures life since March 2010 so I will try to catch up. If you gave up reading my blog, that's fine I would of given up on me too. If you came back , thank you.
I think I will NOT change my name to tossled Mr. Rumple....I will simply sign off as always n forever DeeDee.