A Happy Way to start a New Day....

...was when I opened up my email and saw a note from India! Yes, India....while living in Albany, Georgia in a spacious apartment, our upstairs neighbors were from India. We were privileged to meet their parents and then in the summer meet some more family members. We shared so much of each others culture during our stay in Albany. It was a true blessing! But that summer I got to spend time with their niece who was 15. She is a jewel! We use to sit outside on the porch , sip sweet tea and I would listen as she explained the history of India. To hear a 15 yr old talk about her country's history was amazing. I have never heard an American student talk with so much passion about this country. We both shared our beliefs of God without discourse. I ate her food and she ate mine. I so enjoyed getting to know this beautiful , passionate teenager. They spent 8 wks in the states and when they got back from a trip to Disney World, we went out looking for a scrape book for her to remember her trip to America. The time came for them to leave and go back home. We shared tears of joy and tears of sorrow. I was gonna miss this sweet person. Before they got into the car she told me that I would always be her American Grandma! WOW!~ So today I received a email from my adopted granddaughter from India and as she explained her busyness and school exams and holiday....I couldn't help but notice the very large print at the bottom of the page..Love to my AMERICAN GRANDMA ! She still remembers the last time we spoke...awesome, my day has started out well. (maybe this is how we settle peace around the world....just sincerely adopted one another, love changes all)

Hovering n stones......(sounds heavy to me)

.....I listened in Joyce Meyers this morning and had to write down what I heard. You now how we can read scripture many times and according to what we are dealing with in life, things just pop up? Well today was one of those days for me. She started out reading Genesis 1:1-2, easy right? "In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth. The earth was formless and void and darkness was over the surface of the deep and the Spirit of God was hovering over the surface of the waters." Wait, I had to read it again...the Spirit of God was hovering? WOW, really, how long have I read this chapter to myself and to the children I have taught over the years yet did not notice that the Spirit was hovering? Some translations say "moving," but hovering caught my attention. God hovers over us just waiting for us to join Him. Do angels hover over us just waiting for us to get to work for His glory? Am I lazy, because I am sure many times God hovered way to long over me. I am so thankful that He never tires of me. That His love is so deep, He never gets impatient waiting for me to recognize what He has in store for me.

Ezekiel 37:2-14 talks about dry bones, very dry bones and how the Holy Spirit revealed to Ezekiel the Prophet, to tell Israel to "Come Alive." Am I hearing God right? When I feel that hope is gone- hear God, (He's hovering) COME ALIVE. V-4 says that God will put His Spirit in me, He will settle Himself within me, this is my victory...I am alive in Christ. But do I show it? No amount of sitting in a pew, listening to a pastor or watching an instructional video will take me to the level of victory alone.

I found out that Mark 4:24 says that the measure (of thought & study) I give (to the truth of God's word) will be measured (thru virtue and knowledge) back to me. So how big is my measuring cup? Hint: satan will always try to steal that victory from me. When I fill myself daily with God's word, meditate on it, tell myself that God is hovering over me in love, then satan cannot take it from me.....the measure I use will be given back to me!

Romans 4:17 (God) "who gives life to the dead & causes things into being that do not exist" Like: promising Abram that he will be the "father of the nations"....a boy named David promised to be King.....Mary a young teenage girl promised to carry the Son of God.....my life that was full of blemishes and pain......your life! Life! Stones/boulders that block God from hovering is our choice. Hovering over my life has been stones of sin, hurt, trust issues, esteem, fears. I have to consciencely give God my faith, my love and trust. It can't just be said like repetition, it must be shown, acted out each day that I fight these issues.

I decided to change the particulars of hovering ...I chose to have the Spirit hover over me. Quoting Joyce Meyes: "Jesus had the habit of telling the crippled to get up, of telling the blind to go......Jesus tells us to do the unseemly impossible in order to see if we are willing to trust Him. Putting faith, that we say we have, into action. Stop complaining and roll away those stones. satan is the thief..he is disguised as procrastination! I will not allow satan to hold onto whatever those stones represent in my life. God is hovering over me, waiting to reveal purpose, love, direction for all my days. I do not want to waste any of them . So grateful Lord, thank you.

Just me.....

....being a pastor wife, I am me, JUST ME. At Walmart, volunteering at school, cheering at sporting events. I am me, when I am teaching children (my passion) at church or singing in the choir. (w/same passion) I am me from the very first time we meet.

I believe that I do no more than any other wife would do to support her husband in their positions in society. I am no netter than the working family who goes to our church and has to pay for their Wednesday family meal ticket. I do not take a free ride just b/c of this position that God ordained for me since the day I was born. I am not privy to anything new b/c although I am a pastor's wife, I am also a church member in a community of believers who serve in this community together. I love the fact that my husband takes great care in protecting me from news I need not know so that my perspective of others is not shaded.

I laugh, I cry and yes I make mistakes. I helped raise 2 daughters on a shoestring budget. I cook almost every meal for my family and also cook for others in need. Our home is a home not a museum, so if you are looking for perfection you must go somewhere else. Our doors have been opened to teenagers who ran away from home all the way to businessmen from Japan and missionaries from Germany.

I cannot sing like Sandy Patti nor can I play a piano, however I can give time to be president of said choir. I cannot give a dramatic line by line performance in a Easter program, but I can imagine what Mary the mother of Jesus felt like and act with my whole heart. I can build any set you want for any program from PTA to VBS.

I taught our daughters to serve others w/o expecting anything in return. I told them numerous times to always remember to be a friend first. ("if a person who has mistreated you was on fire and you had a bucket of water, you had better be the first to douse the flame.") Now these young ladies are pastor wives as well. At one church interview our daughter was asked if she felt she could handle the job as pastor wife, her response, "I only know that the examples I have before me is Jesus and my mother and so my answer would have to be, I am very assured of my calling as a wife."

I am inspired that God knew who I was to become before I took my first breath. I am encouraged that my Lord has never given up on me. I am inspired by the 7 churches we have served in and know that I held my head up high, did my best to listen to God and not man and helped others who were in need.

Carpe a Diem....

.....just got back from 3 days with my momma and have to journal my thoughts. Listening to a CD arrangement of encouraging music sent with love from my staff wives, song #8 was "Seize the Day." I love this quiet song....Seize the day, seize whatever you can, cause life slips away just like hour sand sand, seize the day, pray for grace from God's hand....then nothin will stand in your way...seize the day.

As I was singing at the top of my lungs, I realize that I just "been there, done that" with my momma this week. After spending 3 days with her, I seized whatever I could. We laughed alot, talked even more, WalMarted, ate homemade chile, watched alittle TV and slept less. Gave blood for more tests and had a doctor visit to attend today. We were exhausted from a long day on Thursday but was grateful for a full nights sleep. Seize the day!

"Grace from God's hand" He gave us some memories to enjoy. I love serving my momma so I cleaned her home from top to bottom being grateful for the time I can share. Nothing stood in our way, not even the lady in the drive thru at the bank yesterday. We were both so tired...the lady in the truck beside us had a cigarette hanging from her lip and I said, "I think that is very unattractive for a lady to hang a cigarette out of her mouth." (just a personal opinion) Mom said something and I said, "shhh, she might hear us and want to beat us up." My momma said, "Yeah, I know she could beat me up." I said, "yeah she could probably beat us both up while never loosing the ashes from her cigarette!" Mom started laughing so hard...we just sat there in the drive thru with tears in our eyes. I know it's not that funny now but at the moment and being as tired as we were....it was hillarious. Seize the day!

"Life slips away just like hour glass sand" None of us are guaranteed tomorrows breath, yet God have choosen to give me 3 more fun days with my mom. I am blessed. I have to make sure that I pay attention to all those moments with those that I love. I would hate to think that I missed it b/c I was selfish or lazy. This thought is not only for my mother but my 2 awesome mother-in-laws, my husband, our children, grandchildren and the strangers who come to the Open Table at our church. Or what about those strangers whom you meet on the street? Seize the day!

Everyday I want to be reminded of this song...looking into a beautiful sunrise , may I remember that I must take advantage of the day God has given...I cannot waste time on fear of the unknown or what I am not able to do. Seize the day!

"One thing that I noticed whereve I wander, everyone's got a dream he can follow or squander. You can do what you will with the days you are given. I'm trying to spend mine on the business of livin." Seize the day!~

P.S. Had a awesome lunch this week with old school friends..3 of us were friends since kindergarten! Beth Charlotte and I went to school since kindergarten and Debi Long came into my life in 7th grade. Long time friends were have been seperated by almost 43 yrs came together and acted like it was just another lunch date. So fun...we really did CARPE A DIEM!~

Slave or Free.....

...well of course we all would pick "Free!" But according to God's word we choose "slave." Reflecting upon myself I have to admit that at this moment in time I am a captive to my weight. As I pondered more on this slave/free thing, I am a slave to being overweight, not tons, just 25 lbs. My health is relatively stable, no BP problems or thyroid issues. I eat healthy, no processed meats, lots of veggies and a new taste for oven kale. My main failure is the lack of exercise. That is my slavery issue.

EXERCISE...yuck! Who wants to exercise? I do not know of anyone who really "loves to exercise" yet I do know that it is an essential part of being healthy. Just like drinking water is important to our health so is activity. I can be active but the thought of a daily regimented exercise just turns me off. In the Bible today, it talked about being a slave to self. Humm, how could that be? As I read I saw myself in the very words of God and Oswald Chambers. Chambers said, "Yielding to Jesus will break every form of slavery in any human life" The Bible says "His servants ye are to whom ye obey." Romans 6:16

Yielding for one day in exercise last week made me weak enough to yield every day since. My reason for delaying this process was a dentist visit that kicked my jaws....then having to go back the next day to re fix the problem.

We yield in all sorts of ways...."I must have that" or "just one" or have you ever said...."it won't hurt and no one will know", how about "I can give that up any time." Sound familiar?

I am at blame because I yielded way back last Monday and now here it is 7 days later and I still have not got back into the groove. I became a slave to self. But if I obey God, I do so because I am yielding myself to Him and not self. THEREFORE I AM FREE! It sounds pretty redundant, to obey is to be free, but it is the only truth we have to cling to. If you think about self, we become slave to what has captured our attention or pleasure for that moment in time...But God gives us freedom to be ourselves, in Him! That my friends is very freeing!

Then I read today in James 1:14-15..."But each person is tempted when he is drawn away and enticed by his own evil desires. Then after desire has conceived it gives birth to sin and sin when it is fully grown, it gives birth to death."

I got it God, I am starting back into my dull routine of exercise this afternoon! Promise!

By this we believe...

John 16:30-31 was my verse for the day...then I read a devotion that went along with it. "By this we believe, Jesus answered, Do ye now believe?"I responded quickly in my heart, YES, yet do I?

DO I? do things out of a sense of duty as a believer.
DO I? have my own agenda
DO I? feel I have grown enough spiritually to make the right
decision every time.
DO I? think of myself as superior
DO I? think with robot precision on godly things
DO I? quickly pray w/o a burden like items on a grocery list

Jesus knew that a time would come when his disciples would leave Him alone and He knew that we would as well. YES~ I have done all of the above at one time or another in my journey as a believer (I cannot lie)

I HAVE~ served b/c I am a pastor's wife and it is what is expected, my duty.
I HAVE!~had my own hidden agenda before. If I do something will there be some kind of recognition in it for me.
I HAVE~felt that in some areas the old quote "I arrived" so I didn't need to attend "that" Bible study, boy was I ever wrong.
I HAVE~never felt superior....really!~ But the word inferior has claimed my thoughts and actions many times. They are both wrong. Both make you believe that the job or service or ministry cannot be done by you. Maybe you are the very person God has in mind for the deed or idea to get accomplished.
I HAVE~been robotic in many decisions. I am speaking of the small ones here, b/c "I can handle these and leave God to other bigger issues." Yet I know God wants to be a part of my daily mundane life.
I HAVE~quickly prayed w/o compassion or urgency or burden before, only to find God convicting me later. ( I have to be honest here)

Jesus knew I would try this on my own. But he stands ready and willing and lovingly to forgive my unbelief and show me how to live this life in full belief. Every one of the 'I HAVES" I have done...learned my lesson ....moved on. But sometimes I fall back into old bad habits. Oswald Chambers has a quote "We have put our sense of duty on the throne instead of the resurrected life of Christ."

My words: when I do "believer things" w/the attitude of duty then it is always backed w/a clear defense. When I do "believer things" w/the attitude of obedience then there is no defense. It is all about faith in the cross, the power of the cross.
In this present week (2-28-2011) I need to claim the power of the cross. Not for just belief (b/c I do believe) but to trust God's perfect will in the decisions that must be made....w/my mom's health...Steve's book....our home in Tennessee....Billie's job....Jill and Warren and a baby.

"HELP MY UNBELIEF" Mark 9:24

Absolute certainty....

...been going through some hard weeks lately. The defination of tenacity: the quality or state of being. Well, my state of being has been tosseled alot these past few weeks. But today in my quiet time I see the "state of being" as described by Oswald Chambers.

"Tenacity is more than endurance, it is endurance combined with the absolute certainty that what we are looking for is going to transpire."

So to drink this statement up I have got to be certain of life and all the variables it encompasses.

#1. My mother and her health. We found out that surgery was not going to help her kidneys because they are shrinking, dying. Her function level is 26% at this point in time. and with the knowledge that dialysis starts at 15% , decisions are being made with absolute certainty. With absolute certainty my mother decided to not have surgery on a 5cm anerisum. With tears in both our eyes we know with absolute certainty that a ticking time bomb is within her.
#2. Our daughter/son (youth minister) is without a job in this ecomonic season. With 4 children and a home that needs to sell they have absolute certainty of quiet a few things on their plate.
#3. Our youngest daughter/son (small group pastor) knows with absolute certainty that God will start their family through adoption, yet when the call came for a newborn baby girl, that certainty was dimished by the birth mother.

Please note that all 3 concerns in my life are composed of facts! Just facts! Stats from a talented surgeron....decisions of others that was beyond their control. Absolutes for sure and because of the information given, very certain. But Chambers went on to say that " then comes the call to spiritual tenacity, not to hang on and do nothing, but to work deliberately on the certainty that God is not going to be worsted." We must have the spritual tenacity to know with absolute certainty that God will work thru the struggles to refine us and bring praise to His name.

"If our hopes are being dissappointed just now it means that they are being purified. One of the greatest strains in life is the strain of waiting for God. Because thou has kept the word of my patience."

With everything going on these weeks in my life, I found comfort in these words. I am happy to be dissappointed because that means God is purifing me. I welcome strains of life or what I call storms, because God knows what is happening and He delights to give me the desires of my heart. I now that doesn't make sense but through God's bet for my life and the lives of those I love, I know He will give us the desires of our hearts....because our hearts desire to learn, grow and love the Lord more.

So, Bill and Shana...hang on with spiritual tenacity because God thru this storm is protecting you and your family. He will provide at the moment it will bring Him glory. (not thy will but God's will be done) I am so proud of how you have handled this storm...your faith is sustaining your family.
Warren and Jill.....God has directed you to start this precious family through adoption and adoption will happen. And when the call comes and you see your child, you will know that "for this child" you waited on. God will receive the glory for the patiences you both have shared. Your child will hear this story every year on it's birthday and God will become a permanent friend in the childs heart for eternity.
My momma...her health is ebbing but her humor is strong. Her will is strong. I am focused on absorbing everyday with laughter and memories of the old days. I remind her daily of God's love for her and that each day is a gift from God. I appreciate more things about my mother every week I get to have her in my life. God is praised for the certainty that we have each other for one more day.

Absolute certainty/spiritual certainty, I think I choose spiritual certainty! "Tenacity is the supreme effort of a man refusing to believe that his hero is going to be conquered."

My hero is God, who is yours?